Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Saturday, September 19, 2009
The Man I Am Missing
I am missing someone. It’s been a long time since I’ve been with this guy. I remember years ago, he was thin, pale, quiet, unadorned and very conservative. Looking back to the old days, he had simple aspirations in life, that is, to be of help to his family by finishing college and landing a job probably as an architect or a nurse. He had no friends except me and he had brought all his focus in honing the talents that God has given him (damned!, this guy got a basket of natural gifts). He used to speak less though I knew his heart was full of stories to tell.
We had no earlier pictures together, he’s very camera shy, he thinks he’s hideous.
After college, we parted ways. I left him actually, not because I needed to but because I wanted to. He’s too boring for a mate. He didn’t know anything beyond the most complex algebraic expressions or the elements that most commonly present in the atmosphere. He lived his life with books and the imaginary characters he found therein. He didn’t play any sports. He didn’t wear jeans. He had never been to a mall until I invited him one time during our second year in college. My god! He’s a hermit living in a cave of closed identity. He had lived a simple life but I had never once heard him complain or protest why others have to be more blessed.
Yeah, he maybe so probinsiano, but he’s way better than anyone you could ever find in the metro.
That’s what I had liked about him. Yes, he’s too corny but he’s true. He never lied, he never doubted anything that people told him, he’s very smart yet humble, he’s mysterious, he’s very different. When I came to Manila to work, I did change. I have liked all the new found things that I have not seen in the province and when I was still with him, the huge malls, branded clothes, gadgets, new friends and too many others to mention. I forgot about him just as my Friendster friends keep on growing. Then for a long time, I have not seen him. I don’t know if he’s dead already. There was no news of it.
He disappeared to anonymity, never took his college dreams and then..a news blackout.
So many years passed, I had not heard about him. How I wished I could have given him some complimentary gifts when I was still with San Miguel or invited him to the many occasions that I have spearheaded in our house. How I wished I could have talked to him and just simply take a trip down memory lane. But where is he? Now I am here in Dubai and friends are too hard to find, after so many things that have transpired, after dropping him from my priority list, after denying him a chance to go with the flow, after letting him alone, after leaving him lonely, his thoughts and character suddenly graced my imagination.
He was forgotten, but his character lingered somewhere at the back of my mind.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A Bigger Job
Before I went out of the office this afternoon, I bid goodbye to my American superior, he just arrived from a month long vacation. I have just been regularized; so he asked me how my job was. I said it was fine. I said that I was getting along very well with the job and been learning a lot as each day progresses. Sounds good? Hmm, but you know what? Lately I have been trying hard to hold my head together as I dealt with the overwhelming responsibilities as the company's new accountant. Not that I feel incapable of doing what’s assigned to me, it’s only that sometimes I would want to tell them that true I am just a paid employee but I also do get tired dutifully unlike a restless robot.
This is not my way of complaining what I couldn’t tell my boss straight to his face. Pardon my silent rally; I am just yet again in one of those rare moments when the circumstances drown me in little irreverence. My tolerance towards challenging and taxing accountabilities has seemed to have gradually diminished with time or is it just the fact that I have never really liked "positions" from the very beginning? Contrary to what you might think, I have a self downsized personality. Oftentimes I fear representing a group, leading a pack, managing a task or simply in charge of a concerted effort.
This is not my way of complaining what I couldn’t tell my boss straight to his face. Pardon my silent rally; I am just yet again in one of those rare moments when the circumstances drown me in little irreverence. My tolerance towards challenging and taxing accountabilities has seemed to have gradually diminished with time or is it just the fact that I have never really liked "positions" from the very beginning? Contrary to what you might think, I have a self downsized personality. Oftentimes I fear representing a group, leading a pack, managing a task or simply in charge of a concerted effort.
I have worked for San Miguel Corporation as a Senior Financial Analyst for more than six years. Had I not resigned to pursue my Dubai dreams, I would have been a manager by now. Well, actually I was told about it when I decided to leave the company. My boss revealed their plans for me as if knowing them would entice me to stay. Had they've informed me ahead of my decision, I would have declined either. I know my own strengths, but at times that I feel that I am not ready yet, I don’t take risk, even if that represent a once in a lifetime shot.
Now, I kinda feel the same, too overworked and the responsibilities coming too big to handle. Am I waiting for someone else to tell me that I can do this? Nope. But certainly it will be appreciated. They trusted me for this job and I don’t need another thing to happen so I could realize that. I just couldn't tweet "if I could only transfer to another job by tomorrow". I should be thankful that I got a job after the long wait. I have learned my lessons well. I have grown up and ready for the challenge.
Not all are given the chance that I have let slipped through my fingers simply out of convenience and silliness. I am not letting go of this one. I am not made to break. I know my own strengths.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Doctor is Out
We live in a world where a lot of medical misconceptions are already construed as facts: eating at night makes you gain weight, you should take eight glasses of water each day, touching frogs or toads gives you warts, sugar makes kid hyper, reading in dim light ruins your eyesight, doctors live a glamorous profession. These are the things that people have just accepted as true without question simply because they are told and heard repeatedly of the same thing. Sometimes even people with medical degree falls prey into these daunting task of sorting facts from fiction. But when it comes to the glam and prestige of their own profession, they know better and they'd tell you it's not.
I now work for an insurance related company here in Dubai. It's an organization that employs almost 300 people, 70% of which are Filipinos who are health-related practitioners. Just last week, I had an induction/orientation program together with the other newbie's in the company, three of them were Filipino physicians who came to Dubai on tourist visa to look for work. At first, I couldn’t believe that they were doctors, well, not part that they were licensed, but what prompted them to leave the country and gamble here. Of all the people that I'd expect to be fellow OFW, doctors, together with lawyers and politicians, are the least I thought to join the search for greener pasture. I thought they are on top of the society, important people who saves lives. I was wrong. They are important people indeed, but just like many of us, their service back home is more of nobility than livelihood.
What brought me here to Dubai was the same reasons these doctors have left the country, better pay and better living opportunities for their loved ones. My respect, admiration and high regards for doctors have averted me from pursuing my intrigues directly from them. The fact they were here should end all of my questions and instead direct my misconceptions back home.
There must be something wrong there that even doctors are leaving the country at its deplorable state. P19,618 monthly salary for a resident physician in a government hospital, job insecurity and curtailment of basic rights, political instability, poor working conditions, threat of the malpractice law, high taxes, decreased stature of doctors and inadequate resources to perform functions, indeed, more than the economic reasons, a slew of other push factors are what sending our doctors to seek employment abroad..
It is a sad reality, that in times that we exactly need doctors to mitigate the lamenting healthcare situation in the country, more and more medical professionals are leaving and lending their gifts, skills, their brainpower, tenacity and work ethics at the service of other people. Because of the ongoing medical Diaspora, a lot of rural towns in the country are without doctors to serve the medical needs of the people, hospitals are closing down due to lack of nurses and doctors and from what I've read in a related blog, 7 out 10 people are dying without being seen by health personnel. At the rate things are going, surely it wouldn’t be a surprise if there will come a day when there are no more doctors or nurses to cure our illnesses and we will just die helplessly in unmanned big hospitals built from the dollar remittances of these doctors who have chosen to be OFWs.
For its part, the government has remained callous and unmindful of the sad twist of events. It has never been really worried of the exodus of doctors and other professional to work abroad, it even encourages it. And why not? The Philippines earned 16.4B in OFW remittances in 2008. If not for the remittances of the OFWs, the Philippine economy had collapsed long ago. Consequently, the people back home pay the same price.
For its part, the government has remained callous and unmindful of the sad twist of events. It has never been really worried of the exodus of doctors and other professional to work abroad, it even encourages it. And why not? The Philippines earned 16.4B in OFW remittances in 2008. If not for the remittances of the OFWs, the Philippine economy had collapsed long ago. Consequently, the people back home pay the same price.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Regular na Ako!
Yahoo! Regular na Ako!......
Regular na ako sa work, so dapat wala na ang chismis na may STD daw ako! Kasi dito sa Dubai, pag nalaman kang may ganung sakit after nun pre employment medical test, DEPORT ang bagsak mo!
Regular na ako sa work, so ibig sabihin, namit ko yung mga expectations ng mga amo ko kaya napaaga ang pagiging opisyal na pagiging empleyado ko. In short,magaling talaga ako.Yabang!
Regular na ako sa work, so malamang, regular na rin yung makakarinig ako galing sa amo ko nang : " you did a great job, Sherwin!". Hahaha, yabang pa rin!
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang overtime na walang bayad.
Regular na ako sa work, pero hindi ibig sabihin non eh manlilibre na ako ng regular yum sa Jollibee.
Regular na ko sa work, so regular na rin sa mga susunod na taon (unless mag resign ako kaagad!? Ang pagsusuot ko ng pormal clothes. Hindi pa rin ako ganung sanay kasi sa Pinas, civilian ang palagi kong suot pagpasok sa opisina.
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang paglalakad ko pagpasok sa umaga at pag uwi sa gabi. Tamang ehersisyo lang para iwas taba, iwas high blood at iwas gastos sa pamasahe.
Regular na ko sa work, so regular na rin ang pagsahod at siyempre pagpapadala ng pera buwan buwan sa mga mahal sa buhay sa Pinas.
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang pag gising nang maaga kahit pa puyat para maghanda ng almusal, baon sa tanghalian at mamlantsa ng damit na susuotin.
Regular na ko sa work, regular na rin ang pagluluto ko sa gabi ng pagkaing makakain. Mas masarap kaya ang lutong bahay kaysa sa regular flavor ng KFC, kasawa fried chicken!
Regular na ko sa work, so regular ko na rin makakasalamuha sa opisina yung mga ibat ibang lahi na minsan eh nakaka init ng dugo lalo na yung kanilang amoy.
Regular na ko sa work, ganun pa man, hindi dapat pabayaan ang regular na ritwal na pagblobloging.
Regular na ko sa work, at sa bawat araw na daraan, tiyak na dadami pa ang mga Pinoy na aking makikilala at makakausap, at masasabi kong parang hindi rin ako lumisan ng Pinas!
Regular na ko sa work, sa kasamaang palad, meron iba jan ang lalong maiinis sa akin kasi may regular na trabaho na ko. Mamatay kayo sa inggit, pag nagkagayun, ipapalibing ko naman kayo sa regular na casket!
Regular na ko sa work, so ilang buwan pa bago ako makauwi ng Pinas para magbakasyon. Regular pa rin ang pagkamiss ko sa pamilya ko, sa mga kaibigan ko. Hayyyy.
Regular na ako sa work, ayos na. Sana next time, love life ko naman ang dumating...
Regular na ko work, maraming salamat sa Diyos! At sana patuloy Niya pa akong biyayaan ng kalusugan at kaayusan maging lahat na mga Pilipinong nagtratrabaho sa ibang parte pa ng mundo.
Regular na ako sa work, so ibig sabihin, namit ko yung mga expectations ng mga amo ko kaya napaaga ang pagiging opisyal na pagiging empleyado ko. In short,magaling talaga ako.Yabang!
Regular na ako sa work, so malamang, regular na rin yung makakarinig ako galing sa amo ko nang : " you did a great job, Sherwin!". Hahaha, yabang pa rin!
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang overtime na walang bayad.
Regular na ako sa work, pero hindi ibig sabihin non eh manlilibre na ako ng regular yum sa Jollibee.
Regular na ko sa work, so regular na rin sa mga susunod na taon (unless mag resign ako kaagad!? Ang pagsusuot ko ng pormal clothes. Hindi pa rin ako ganung sanay kasi sa Pinas, civilian ang palagi kong suot pagpasok sa opisina.
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang paglalakad ko pagpasok sa umaga at pag uwi sa gabi. Tamang ehersisyo lang para iwas taba, iwas high blood at iwas gastos sa pamasahe.
Regular na ko sa work, so regular na rin ang pagsahod at siyempre pagpapadala ng pera buwan buwan sa mga mahal sa buhay sa Pinas.
Regular na ako sa work, so regular na rin ang pag gising nang maaga kahit pa puyat para maghanda ng almusal, baon sa tanghalian at mamlantsa ng damit na susuotin.
Regular na ko sa work, regular na rin ang pagluluto ko sa gabi ng pagkaing makakain. Mas masarap kaya ang lutong bahay kaysa sa regular flavor ng KFC, kasawa fried chicken!
Regular na ko sa work, so regular ko na rin makakasalamuha sa opisina yung mga ibat ibang lahi na minsan eh nakaka init ng dugo lalo na yung kanilang amoy.
Regular na ko sa work, ganun pa man, hindi dapat pabayaan ang regular na ritwal na pagblobloging.
Regular na ko sa work, at sa bawat araw na daraan, tiyak na dadami pa ang mga Pinoy na aking makikilala at makakausap, at masasabi kong parang hindi rin ako lumisan ng Pinas!
Regular na ko sa work, sa kasamaang palad, meron iba jan ang lalong maiinis sa akin kasi may regular na trabaho na ko. Mamatay kayo sa inggit, pag nagkagayun, ipapalibing ko naman kayo sa regular na casket!
Regular na ko sa work, so ilang buwan pa bago ako makauwi ng Pinas para magbakasyon. Regular pa rin ang pagkamiss ko sa pamilya ko, sa mga kaibigan ko. Hayyyy.
Regular na ako sa work, ayos na. Sana next time, love life ko naman ang dumating...
Regular na ko work, maraming salamat sa Diyos! At sana patuloy Niya pa akong biyayaan ng kalusugan at kaayusan maging lahat na mga Pilipinong nagtratrabaho sa ibang parte pa ng mundo.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Attack of the Clogged: The Evil Strikes Back
How long can a man holds grudge against an innocent another? How long can a man harbors bitterness over an unintentional snub? How long can a man gets over something that should otherwise been a simple case of lapse in judgment? Two months? A year? A lifetime? Or til he realizes at least some of the objects of his frustrations? Two months after the horrible dedication to avenge what's for him "was the greatest sin you could ever commit", the man in black is getting more furious and relentless in his evil endeavor to destroy the fruitful chico.
The saga continues. He is so upset to read the messages my friends and some anonymous people left in the blog I wrote about him. He finds it difficult to accept that despite all his efforts to exaggerate things , his pathetic and inventive lies are getting eclipsed by the true circumstances about his motivations. He is so disgusted that no one seemed to believe his story telling. He is jealous to know that I am more loved and trusted despite his labors to make me look unlovable and trashed. He is hating me more than ever as he grips more tightly to the angst and anguish of his desperate soul. He is so mad to see me happy and living life to the fullest after all that he has done.
His latest threat? Hacking onto my friendster account and messaging all my friends (250+ of them) and telling them lies and vulgar stories about me. Then using the same account for the nth time, he is joining gay forums and starting threads telling things he expertly does on my behalf. Finally this, he has found his way to our company email address directory and now he started sending my officemates vulgar stories about me with matching obscene photos and malicious representations. I would not be surprised if tomorrow the same email would find its way to the mailboxes of our senators and the office of the President! How gross!
He even takes pride to say that he is my mortal enemy. Well, he is wrong. I never consider him as enemy. Though he may have done damage to me, I view it as his way to appease how I have made him felt during the snubbing incident. In as much as I want to hate him and get even, my conscience dictates me that doing so is unchristian and unbecoming of an educated person. So instead of blaspheming him accordingly, I choose to fill a big heart for a troubled soul and I maybe right.
Someone left me a message on the blog and he shared me something about this guy that should make me understand him more. This guy, who has hated me for the longest time has actually been through a lot in life. He was a product of a broken family and since childhood, has been house hoping just to live each day and survive. At early age, he's been exposed to the "dirty jobs" and through this and some ambition to improve his life, he was able to finish an education degree and fact of matter is, he even graduated magna cum laude in some school in Cebu. Sadly, he had never been given the opportunity to become a teacher as he was more inclined to do things beyond the boring classrooms of ABC. He has tried some modeling stint and been joining male beauty contest here and there. Just the same, no light had shone on him. So he was forced to go back to his old self and doing his "dirty jobs" so he could survived. He's been involved in a lots of runaway robberies in Manila and Cebu before he decided to go to Dubai. But his sad luck continues, the company that sent him to Kish (where we have met) and where he has worked for some months, didn’t pay his salary so he was forced to resign and do what he does best, this time in Dubai, so he could survive another day.
With what he's doing, I feel little afraid. No, not for my self for facing all those humiliations and embarrassment but to him for the way he is evolving. He's troubled and as days pass, he's showing signs of mental deteriorations. It seems difficult for him to move on. He's still clogged in that one moment in time that he's trying to shake my hands and shook the air instead. I feel sorry for him. Now I realized, there could really be more to that hands shaking. It could have been another Kimi Dorish moment where he's trying to tell me…" I am just little gay, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me…." Hehehe. Again, sorry for that. I have no plans.
So how long will he be going to do this? Well, I have no idea. I just wish he could find a better and decent paying job so he could be busy with something else productive. At least now, I understand where it's all coming. He has his reasons and I just wish him to realize that there's still more to life after all the aggravations and frustrations. It's not too late to move on and start over.
His latest threat? Hacking onto my friendster account and messaging all my friends (250+ of them) and telling them lies and vulgar stories about me. Then using the same account for the nth time, he is joining gay forums and starting threads telling things he expertly does on my behalf. Finally this, he has found his way to our company email address directory and now he started sending my officemates vulgar stories about me with matching obscene photos and malicious representations. I would not be surprised if tomorrow the same email would find its way to the mailboxes of our senators and the office of the President! How gross!
He even takes pride to say that he is my mortal enemy. Well, he is wrong. I never consider him as enemy. Though he may have done damage to me, I view it as his way to appease how I have made him felt during the snubbing incident. In as much as I want to hate him and get even, my conscience dictates me that doing so is unchristian and unbecoming of an educated person. So instead of blaspheming him accordingly, I choose to fill a big heart for a troubled soul and I maybe right.
Someone left me a message on the blog and he shared me something about this guy that should make me understand him more. This guy, who has hated me for the longest time has actually been through a lot in life. He was a product of a broken family and since childhood, has been house hoping just to live each day and survive. At early age, he's been exposed to the "dirty jobs" and through this and some ambition to improve his life, he was able to finish an education degree and fact of matter is, he even graduated magna cum laude in some school in Cebu. Sadly, he had never been given the opportunity to become a teacher as he was more inclined to do things beyond the boring classrooms of ABC. He has tried some modeling stint and been joining male beauty contest here and there. Just the same, no light had shone on him. So he was forced to go back to his old self and doing his "dirty jobs" so he could survived. He's been involved in a lots of runaway robberies in Manila and Cebu before he decided to go to Dubai. But his sad luck continues, the company that sent him to Kish (where we have met) and where he has worked for some months, didn’t pay his salary so he was forced to resign and do what he does best, this time in Dubai, so he could survive another day.
With what he's doing, I feel little afraid. No, not for my self for facing all those humiliations and embarrassment but to him for the way he is evolving. He's troubled and as days pass, he's showing signs of mental deteriorations. It seems difficult for him to move on. He's still clogged in that one moment in time that he's trying to shake my hands and shook the air instead. I feel sorry for him. Now I realized, there could really be more to that hands shaking. It could have been another Kimi Dorish moment where he's trying to tell me…" I am just little gay, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me…." Hehehe. Again, sorry for that. I have no plans.
So how long will he be going to do this? Well, I have no idea. I just wish he could find a better and decent paying job so he could be busy with something else productive. At least now, I understand where it's all coming. He has his reasons and I just wish him to realize that there's still more to life after all the aggravations and frustrations. It's not too late to move on and start over.
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“It is a simple but sometimes forgotten truth that the greatest enemy to present joy and high hopes is the cultivation of retrospective bitterness.”
- Robert G. Menzies
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