Attack of the Clogged: The Evil Strikes Back

How long can a man holds grudge against an innocent another? How long can a man harbors bitterness over an unintentional snub? How long can a man gets over something that should otherwise been a simple case of lapse in judgment? Two months? A year? A lifetime? Or til he realizes at least some of the objects of his frustrations? Two months after the horrible dedication to avenge what's for him "was the greatest sin you could ever commit", the man in black is getting more furious and relentless in his evil endeavor to destroy the fruitful chico.

The saga continues. He is so upset to read the messages my friends and some anonymous people left in the blog I wrote about him. He finds it difficult to accept that despite all his efforts to exaggerate things , his pathetic and inventive lies are getting eclipsed by the true circumstances about his motivations. He is so disgusted that no one seemed to believe his story telling. He is jealous to know that I am more loved and trusted despite his labors to make me look unlovable and trashed. He is hating me more than ever as he grips more tightly to the angst and anguish of his desperate soul. He is so mad to see me happy and living life to the fullest after all that he has done.

His latest threat? Hacking onto my friendster account and messaging all my friends (250+ of them) and telling them lies and vulgar stories about me. Then using the same account for the nth time, he is joining gay forums and starting threads telling things he expertly does on my behalf. Finally this, he has found his way to our company email address directory and now he started sending my officemates vulgar stories about me with matching obscene photos and malicious representations. I would not be surprised if tomorrow the same email would find its way to the mailboxes of our senators and the office of the President! How gross!

He even takes pride to say that he is my mortal enemy. Well, he is wrong. I never consider him as enemy. Though he may have done damage to me, I view it as his way to appease how I have made him felt during the snubbing incident. In as much as I want to hate him and get even, my conscience dictates me that doing so is unchristian and unbecoming of an educated person. So instead of blaspheming him accordingly, I choose to fill a big heart for a troubled soul and I maybe right.

Someone left me a message on the blog and he shared me something about this guy that should make me understand him more. This guy, who has hated me for the longest time has actually been through a lot in life. He was a product of a broken family and since childhood, has been house hoping just to live each day and survive. At early age, he's been exposed to the "dirty jobs" and through this and some ambition to improve his life, he was able to finish an education degree and fact of matter is, he even graduated magna cum laude in some school in Cebu. Sadly, he had never been given the opportunity to become a teacher as he was more inclined to do things beyond the boring classrooms of ABC. He has tried some modeling stint and been joining male beauty contest here and there. Just the same, no light had shone on him. So he was forced to go back to his old self and doing his "dirty jobs" so he could survived. He's been involved in a lots of runaway robberies in Manila and Cebu before he decided to go to Dubai. But his sad luck continues, the company that sent him to Kish (where we have met) and where he has worked for some months, didn’t pay his salary so he was forced to resign and do what he does best, this time in Dubai, so he could survive another day.

With what he's doing, I feel little afraid. No, not for my self for facing all those humiliations and embarrassment but to him for the way he is evolving. He's troubled and as days pass, he's showing signs of mental deteriorations. It seems difficult for him to move on. He's still clogged in that one moment in time that he's trying to shake my hands and shook the air instead. I feel sorry for him. Now I realized, there could really be more to that hands shaking. It could have been another Kimi Dorish moment where he's trying to tell me…" I am just little gay, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me…." Hehehe. Again, sorry for that. I have no plans.

So how long will he be going to do this? Well, I have no idea. I just wish he could find a better and decent paying job so he could be busy with something else productive. At least now, I understand where it's all coming. He has his reasons and I just wish him to realize that there's still more to life after all the aggravations and frustrations. It's not too late to move on and start over.

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“It is a simple but sometimes forgotten truth that the greatest enemy to present joy and high hopes is the cultivation of retrospective bitterness.”
- Robert G. Menzies

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The Evil's Advocate (Attack on an OFW Part 2)

So it's true what they say that you can never be too careful in the choice of your enemies. Sometimes, out of no where, people will just run into your life and hate you as if you have caused them their entire life's desolation and search for purpose. Honestly, I am just starting to regain and rebuild myself and dreams after a very long time when I decided that money alone wouldn’t make me feel happy as an OFW ( I quit my previous job that paid me more and where I did less almost nothing). Haven’t gone far enough though in my new job, then here comes the haters and bashers. Out of no where and out of just reasoning, suddenly I was nailed on the cross of indiscriminate internet assassination. It was desperately done, leaving no stones unturned and no acquaintance apprehensive.

Who is this person and why has devoted all his life trying to make me suffer? Well, I don’t know him personally but let us take a look at where his everest high abhorrence and pacific deep abomination is coming. During the many months that I was jobless in Dubai, I have made three exits to Kish (Iran). In all those times that I was there, I would have lost my sanity if not for the friends and company that I have met there. HE WAS ONE OF THEM. Some kabayans would arrive from Dubai and left the same day, some spent weeks, some stayed for months, while some, sadly, were forced to go back to the Philippines. But it never really matter, the amount of time couldn’t measure the bonding and camaraderie each of us felt while waiting for our visa back to Dubai. At each time that I would be back to Dubai, I was hoping that I could see some of them again.

So it happened, unexpectedly and untimely. Along the busy Al Riqa Street, our path crossed one time last June. He said hello and kumusta ka? I barely recognized him and I was having a hard time recalling where we have met. He reminded me that it was in Kish, he spent five days there and checked in the same building as ours though he's in a separate room. Before I could even recall and shook his hands back, my thought got blocked by some other ambiguities and I decided togo away. I left his hand hanging in the air. I have no idea that it's going to be the grounds of his relentless attack and passionate obsession to kill me at least on the internet. I never thought that he's going to take that simple lapse in judgment as a serious matter worthy of all his time and efforts.

A week after, I could no longer access my yahoo account. I didn’t bother. But the succeeding manipulations were just too obvious and malicious to ignore. I don’t know how he got the password to my account (he knew so much about me because he asked for my CV before he went back to Dubai). With the access on his hand, he started sending malicious and thought provoking emails to my friends and relatives. Then he took control of my friendster account and he posted there some very private pictures of mine he found on my email. He also made a very disturbing and destructive shoutout that somehow fell almost in the category of unbelievable. The he hacked into my Facebook account using the same ID, changing my profile picture and posting again a very malicious and front status. Then finally, he entered my life through my blogs. He changed my blog name and edited my profile. He deleted all the recent comments and left self destructing messages in my blogrolls' chatboxes. That’s the reason why I was forced to transfer my old blog and created this new one. Luckily, I have a back up of all my past entries, blog roll and widgets.

Me as a person, I know when to say sorry. So I apologized to him if I might have embarrassed him or caused him any harm or hurt without my knowledge. But he refused to accept my apology. It even fuelled his fascination and madness to create some more mess towards my complete humiliations. He created five more friendster account where he posted my alleged and photoshopped nude pictures. Then he joined forums and started threads saying that I have STD and I worked as a callboy ( and you know what callboys do, especially here in Middle East). He later transformed my old blog account that used to house the monologues of the desert dude into an empty blog that expressed the things that he's doing and made it show that I was the doing it. Inevitably, there would be people who have read and seen all the updates he's doing on my social networking accounts. I couldn’t help but explain. And I couldn’t explain to all, luckily, I have friends who know me better than the internet, I have a family that understand and I have faith in God that soon this will be over.

Now my blog is safe. As for the rest of my accounts, may he found time to think that he's doing more harm to himself than to me. I know God is watching him. I have apologized sincerely to him and I have rested my case. Whether he accepted or denied that, it's beyond my conscience to bear what's doing. I am working decently and happily. Some people are just too selfish and insecure to pester someone else as if I owe him a world for making him feel so unimportant and immaterial. I could not wish him to just die because I know it's bad. I just pray that he realizes sooner that he could not forever hurt me and destroy me. I am standing alone, complete, earning, capable, healthy (without any STD), trusted and most of all, LOVED.

At the end of the day, I could afford to smile. I could very well be a celebrity, with haters and bashers trying to stain my popularity and fame. Kalevel ko na si Katrina Halili na may sex video, pati yung ibang artista na may nude pics sa nga ninakaw nilang celfone. Am I that important? Am I that big? I am too busy to care about. But what’s this blog? Well, let's say I just want to let loose. Actually, this is the easiest blog that I have ever written, less than an hour. Why? Because I don’t have to think, it just comes freely and flowingly, and that is naked truth.

Bringing a Good Man Down

I really don’t know which way to feel. Being so preoccupied with my current job, I have almost lost all the time in the world to update my blogs, check on my emails and see what's the latest in friendster and facebook. Thought I could just leave the world unattended and focus on what's essential – my job. Well, evil really works its way when no one's watching. With the latest assassination that surprised the unsuspecting character in me, I really don’t know which way to feel . Should I be proud that someone is so negatively OBSESSED with me or should I be bothered that someone is weaving up trouble out of his OBSESSION.

What started out casually is raging on bloodily. Plagues of malicious emails, disturbing forum subjects, snatching control of my humble life's sanctuary, deleting the comments of my friends and even my own Friendster account, as if an apology would be not be enough to appease the bitterness and frustrations that is totally consuming this obsessed soul. Such another triumph for the evil monarch as another lost soul has taken the dark path and is blinded miserably by his congenital hatred and resentment of other people's successes.

While I work hard to earn a decent living, inevitably someone will just come along and speak evil without any just cause. But no matter how unsettling his words and his actions, I have always reserved in my heart a piece of understanding and console for people who are less loved. Sadly, people who are less loved most often are being used by the devil to spread their havoc in this world where we all try to live peacefully. And the battle just goes on. Damage will be inappropriately caused but God sees the truth and waits. He allows evil people to live longer, not because He wants them to spread more of their wrong doings but to give enough time to contemplate and repent for their transgressions.

I have always been a good man and a good friend to many. I am not a perfect human being. I have also flaws and vulnerable to mistakes and pains but I always know how to ask for apology for something that I have done knowingly and unintentionally. We live in an imperfect world, sometimes, what we want we won't get, who we love wont love us back the way we want it to be, we can never wish to be just successful, we have to work hard for it. At times when things don’t fall into place, there's no reason to blame others or feel bitter.

I have no enemies in life, aside from the loneliness that sometimes I feel from being far away from home. As an OFW, in time and in this place, that's the least that I would care about. But for some, there must be pleasure in evil speaking of others and spreading demeaning thoughts. I really don’t know which way to feel. How could some people be just so obsessed with someone so as to devote so much time trying to destroy him? Good luck. But they can never put a good man down. I have been through a lot in this life. I know as long as I am with God, this evil can try but they can't take that faith away from me.

"A man can never be too careful in the choice of his enemies” - Oscar Wilde

Sweaky, Where Art Thou?

A loyal companion, a trusted friend, the clown of my life - that's Sweaky. I wonder where he is now.

I last saw him in early 2006. That was when our office was transferred from Ortigas to Valenzuela. It was a disappointing management decision but who were we to complain. We're just employee bound to obey whatever the force-that-be wanted. In a matter of months, the entire staff retired, including me and Sweaky.

I have met Sweaky in 2005. He was introduced to me by a friend. I brought him to the office and then he became my first ever best friend. How would I describe him? Hmm..well, he's s a perenially happy guy, actually there were times I was bothered why he never gave up on always flashing that wide smile. Sometimes I thought he's getting crazy. Then I realized that it's just the way he is. Sweet. Care-free. Always ready to say hi.

When we were in the office, he liked to sit on my desk watching all the things that I do. Sometimes I got embarassed bacause he would stare at me all the time whether I was picking my nose or getting rid of those nasty and stubborn pimples. His smile was annoying at times but he knew I wasn't vain. That's what I had liked about him. He never talk down to me, not a single word. He stayed with me all the time. If I had to go overtime, he was there to join me even without any dinner or so. He hated eating, very conscious indeed.

We were really the best of friends and I was always proud to introduce him to new office comers. When we transferred to Valenzuela, he never reacted or anything. I knew deep within that he would follow me wherever I go and whatever decision I make. December 2006, I retired from office after working for more than six years. I had to leave San Miguel and every thing that I have learned while under his providing arms. Sweaky too, I know was also grateful because we have come to know each other when I was with SMC.

When I packed all my things, I left nothing but Sweaky. I was too excited that I have forgotten my one true friend. Pity me! Damned me! How could have I done that? I wasn't sure. I was so stupid. It has been three years now and I am thinking of where has he been. I have no idea. I have contacted all my friends in the Philippines if they could help me find him and they too, have not seen him. I had no one else but myself to blame. I lost him. I lost a beloved friend.

click here to see the only picture of Sweaky, with friends Froggy and Santy. In any case you see him, please do inform me, thanks.