Attack of the Clogged: The Evil Strikes Back

How long can a man holds grudge against an innocent another? How long can a man harbors bitterness over an unintentional snub? How long can a man gets over something that should otherwise been a simple case of lapse in judgment? Two months? A year? A lifetime? Or til he realizes at least some of the objects of his frustrations? Two months after the horrible dedication to avenge what's for him "was the greatest sin you could ever commit", the man in black is getting more furious and relentless in his evil endeavor to destroy the fruitful chico.

The saga continues. He is so upset to read the messages my friends and some anonymous people left in the blog I wrote about him. He finds it difficult to accept that despite all his efforts to exaggerate things , his pathetic and inventive lies are getting eclipsed by the true circumstances about his motivations. He is so disgusted that no one seemed to believe his story telling. He is jealous to know that I am more loved and trusted despite his labors to make me look unlovable and trashed. He is hating me more than ever as he grips more tightly to the angst and anguish of his desperate soul. He is so mad to see me happy and living life to the fullest after all that he has done.

His latest threat? Hacking onto my friendster account and messaging all my friends (250+ of them) and telling them lies and vulgar stories about me. Then using the same account for the nth time, he is joining gay forums and starting threads telling things he expertly does on my behalf. Finally this, he has found his way to our company email address directory and now he started sending my officemates vulgar stories about me with matching obscene photos and malicious representations. I would not be surprised if tomorrow the same email would find its way to the mailboxes of our senators and the office of the President! How gross!

He even takes pride to say that he is my mortal enemy. Well, he is wrong. I never consider him as enemy. Though he may have done damage to me, I view it as his way to appease how I have made him felt during the snubbing incident. In as much as I want to hate him and get even, my conscience dictates me that doing so is unchristian and unbecoming of an educated person. So instead of blaspheming him accordingly, I choose to fill a big heart for a troubled soul and I maybe right.

Someone left me a message on the blog and he shared me something about this guy that should make me understand him more. This guy, who has hated me for the longest time has actually been through a lot in life. He was a product of a broken family and since childhood, has been house hoping just to live each day and survive. At early age, he's been exposed to the "dirty jobs" and through this and some ambition to improve his life, he was able to finish an education degree and fact of matter is, he even graduated magna cum laude in some school in Cebu. Sadly, he had never been given the opportunity to become a teacher as he was more inclined to do things beyond the boring classrooms of ABC. He has tried some modeling stint and been joining male beauty contest here and there. Just the same, no light had shone on him. So he was forced to go back to his old self and doing his "dirty jobs" so he could survived. He's been involved in a lots of runaway robberies in Manila and Cebu before he decided to go to Dubai. But his sad luck continues, the company that sent him to Kish (where we have met) and where he has worked for some months, didn’t pay his salary so he was forced to resign and do what he does best, this time in Dubai, so he could survive another day.

With what he's doing, I feel little afraid. No, not for my self for facing all those humiliations and embarrassment but to him for the way he is evolving. He's troubled and as days pass, he's showing signs of mental deteriorations. It seems difficult for him to move on. He's still clogged in that one moment in time that he's trying to shake my hands and shook the air instead. I feel sorry for him. Now I realized, there could really be more to that hands shaking. It could have been another Kimi Dorish moment where he's trying to tell me…" I am just little gay, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me…." Hehehe. Again, sorry for that. I have no plans.

So how long will he be going to do this? Well, I have no idea. I just wish he could find a better and decent paying job so he could be busy with something else productive. At least now, I understand where it's all coming. He has his reasons and I just wish him to realize that there's still more to life after all the aggravations and frustrations. It's not too late to move on and start over.

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“It is a simple but sometimes forgotten truth that the greatest enemy to present joy and high hopes is the cultivation of retrospective bitterness.”
- Robert G. Menzies

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